Tuesday, November 6, 2012

Wednesday, July 4, 2012

Wednesday, May 16, 2012

Can a Passive Aggressive Husband truly change?

How to Deal With a Passive Aggressive Husband that "repents"?

this is a very common quandary, when women say:

"I am done with him, kicked him out…and now, he is behaving as the sweeter and more considerate guy in the world! is he acting now? if not, why he never showed this behavior before?"  Hear this question again:

Q.- Isn’t it crazy making? He was always rude and dismissive with me, and I tolerated that behavior because he was hard working….and I thought he knew nothing better, having grown up in a small working class community. But I got so tired of his treatment, and left him…..What happened? Did he get some training? Now he is on my door, with flowers, and the right words!!!



A. Isn’t it wonderful? Nothing like the whiff of change in the air and good manners reappear instantly!

We have two choices here: either you can believe that he understood the problem, asked for advice from someone, and now he is really and truly trying to improve, and you can see him using on purpose the new behavior in front of you. 

The question really is: Is this extraordinary effort permanent or only displayed with the purpose of getting you back?

Or he is making an extraordinary effort, which will be finished as soon as he gets his purpose of getting you back? Nobody knows; we want to give him the benefits of the doubt, but he had too many years doing the rude behavior to you as to be easily convinced by flowers now...

You can always do the real test: get him back, be non-commital, not extraordinarily excited, but normal; and tell him that you are going to be watching if his behavior has really changed. Get a big calendar, circle 6 months in advance, and keep a diary….in this way, he knows that you have the right to evaluate his sincerity! Good luck!